Friday Morning Insomnia

But not that type of insomnia that keeps you awake just to mess with your head because it's bored and needs someone to come out and play. Instead, I got the kind that buzzes in your ears and doesn't let you rest until you smack it against the wall and leave a bloody trail in its wake. [If mosquitoes fed off period blood, things would be much easier.] That's when you decide that maybe it's time to get up and do something productive, since sleep is already forfeited.

So I went jogging. At 7 a.m. Through the Opera Park. Through the fog. Through people in suits hurrying their morning away and students with frowns wishing they were still in bed.

And it felt good.

   

          

Life Updates from Late-October

I opened this and then left it here for several hours days. Nothing creative happened. No spark. No divine inspiration. All I felt was a little tired and with a backache. Writing is hard.

I've mostly stuck to paper lately, but even then, even there, the words come out gutted and crippled, dragging on until I end up drifting away somewhere. Anywhere. Preferably not here-and-now, but there-and-then. If the past and the future move fast enough, the illusion of some sort of present is created. The faster you go, the more things you do, the more you get to live suspended in this illusory now.  

I've decided to force myself to write, even if I don’t have anything to say. Especially if I don’t have anything to say. This void takes up more of my mind than I’d like to admit, and if the room is especially dark and quiet, I can hear my own bloodstream sloshing about in my ears. [So much for a great inner voice.]

In a week I’m supposed to start writing a novel and finish it in one month. This task was easier when I was still living in Vienna. The tiny, solitary-confinement-type room at the second floor of an all-girls dorm was the ideal recluse. This year I’m living it up in a noisy house with activity and laughter. That’s the last thing I need when I write. Contentment. Ugh.

.Time to fall asleep watching American Horror Story.

((New) Beginning) Rinalda's Adventures in Bucharest

1. After four days of loitering in my aunt's house, I finally moved into what will be my residence for the following year. It's nice but the dog is menstruating so there's blood on the porch.
2. It's been raining incessantly for three days now. If it won't stop, I'll have to start building an ark around me. Or at least learn how to swim. (Both options are equally unapproachable.)
3. My right hand is cold. So is my nose.
4. I feel lonely.
5. And hungry.
6. I skipped the opening ceremony because of adverse weather conditions.
7. The armchair I'm currently sitting on is worth more than my laptop.